The Home Stretch

"A teacher affects eternity. [She] can never tell where [her] influence stops."

                                         ~Henry Adams

Today I officially started the last term of the 2007-08 academic year. It’s the home stretch for us teachers and students. There are things to look forward to: literacy week, the school play, finals, graduation, and then, the summer holiday. Last night I arrived back in Jakarta at 1 am from my holiday in Thailand and had to wake up four hours later to go to work. (By the way, I attended my brother’s wedding last week, March 15, 2008, and I now have a beautiful sister-in-law.) All teachers seemed to benefit from the spring break. Everybody smiled and greeted me with a warm welcome back. We agree that a week off was short, but we are still in good spirit because summer is near.

Today I got to rehearse a couple monologues with my students—Bea, Patrick, and Ella-- to prepare them for the characterization contest. One monologue was by Helena from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The other was the famous “All the World’s a Stage” by Jaques from As You Like It. I thank Mr. Shakespeare for his works that have enlighten and tickled the fancy and possibly puzzled the minds of students of literature for centuries.

Today two of my students, Johnathan and Maria, brought me gifts for Easter. John is a troubled kid who doesn’t seem to care one bit about his academic achievements, and many teachers like to roll their eyes when talking about him. But the kid is brilliant in music, loves to crack jokes and usually is the life of the party like when we went on a field trip for instance. I’m a firm believer that academic excellence isn’t the be-all and end-all. We had a verbal spat in class once, and he could be hyperactive one day and extremely lethargic the next, but through it all, I see him as a kid with a good heart who’s starving for love and attention. John told his class advisor that he likes me, and that means a lot. Then there is Maria who doesn’t seem to have any friend. She talks to me more than any of her classmates. I think I’m her only friend besides her sister. Once she invited me, and not one of her classmates, to watch a Saturday performance where she played a Chinese musical instrument. In all honesty, I can’t stand traditional Chinese music, but I had to go. The next day I told her that I was there, and I saw a hugh smile splashed across her face before she shied away. 

Today I watched Patch Adams with my ninth grade class. The dismissal bell rang at the end of the day, but all their eyes, including mine, were still glued to the movie. Some students held up their four fingers and tried to see beyond what was in front of them. Hunter Adams fought to love his patients despite the strict rules and regulations; and in the same way, I have to fight to love my students. God has revealed something beautiful about each one of my kids, and I’ve definitely grown attached to them. I’m going to miss them so much when I leave. I know being a foreigner in Indonesia and dealing with the school bureaucracy have not been easy; but at the end of the day, my students are worth fighting for. I wrote in an earlier blog that teaching has taught me to think about others and not myself for once. For once, I learn to suck it up and endure so I can be there for these kids. I hope that I’ll remember this valuable experience and lesson one day when I have my own kids. The idea of happiness can be illusive, but one thing I know is that to sacrifice for others is painful but, at the same time, brings the kind of joy that words cannot describe…

Out of My Element/ A Culture Clash

"In this proud land we grew up strong

We were wanted all along

I was taught to fight, taught to win

I never thought I could fail...

                                       

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how optimistic I was when I started out on this journey around the world. But I must say that being in Indonesia is definitely out of my element and it exposes who I am--the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's true I had asked God to help me grow, but nothing could have prepared me for Indonesia and the reality of living in a third world country where much western comfort is stripped away (Indonesia makes me appreciate Thailand a whole lot more. Even though both are considered "third-world", there are degrees of differences), of living in a place where sharing one's feelings is a novelty and expressing one's opinions is absurd and borderline tabooed; and better yet, fighting for one's rights is almost unheard of and the people of the republic say "Rights? What rights? You do what you're told. Don't be so bold, just do what you're told."

...Got to walk out of here

I can't take it anymore

Going to stand on that bridge

Keep my eyes down below

That rivers flowing

That rivers flowing...

I know there's a time and place for everything. It's not like I can just air my opinions anywhere in a western culture either. Nonetheless, the West values people speaking up, but here in Asia, or more specifically I feel in Indonesia, you are looked down upon if you do so, considering its history of hundreds of years of colonization by Japan, Britain, and mostly by the Dutch. (Speaking of which, shouldn't the West take the blame for this, but I won't go into it cos that'll just lead to a post-colonial debate of which I'm not an expert in the area.) All I know is that Indonesian people, for the most part, still like being told what to do and aren't encouraged to question things with the exception of certain media like the Jakarta Post. And it's too bad for me because I look Indonesian; therefore, many expect me to act like one. (Don't get me wrong. There are many good things here as I have mentioned in previous blog entries.) This section is simply my own experience toward an appreciation, or the lack thereof, in individuality and individual rights. A first-hand experience in a minute part of Anthropology 101--a collective culture. Again, it's just my opinion and you are welcome to disagree.

A whole new world. A whole new set of values.

"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." ~Abraham Lincoln

"In giving rights to others which belong to them, we give rights to ourselves and to our country." ~John F. Kennedy

The moral of the story is this: I'm more American in my head than I look. I had lived in a country where people celebrate the men and women who dare to stand out and speak up for what they believe in. However the American way isn't the only way to live. The East has its own values that, although I don't feel comfortable with, I must adapt in order to survive.

...Don't give up

'cause you have friends

Don't give up

You're not the only one

Don't give up 

You still have us

Don't give up now

We're proud of who you are

Don't give up

You know it's never been easy

Don't give up

cause I believe there's a place

There's a place where we belong."

                               ~"Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel

 

Friendships Forged in Fire

"Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness."
~Sydney Smith




“Like iron sharpens iron, so one [woman] sharpens another.”
- Proverbs 27:17


So when God puts difficult people or situations in your life, do you run away or embrace them?

Well, I'm a natural runner and normally run the first chance I get. I rather not deal with them, people or things. So I go out for a drink (no actually I don't drink). I can go to the movies since I'm in Jakarta and that's the main form of entertainment besides mall hopping; or sleep through it. I can get creative with the running methods, but the truth is if I don't deal with problems in life, they'll come back and bite me in the behind sooner or later. It's the law of life--like gravity.

Of which has led me to share with you about this remarkable story.

God has put me in a house with two wonderful housemates: Mida, a former accountant who now works in admin for a British offshore company; Ria, a nationally known singer and full-time staff for our church, and then there's me, an opinionated teacher and glob-trekker. It’s amazing how we all can speak English and yet we speak totally different languages when it comes to Love.

At first, we got along just fine. You know, like being on a honeymoon. Everything’s new. You don’t mind if they step on your toes. You think, no problem dear, I love you still. What’s the use of bringing up every little thing they do that hurt you, or things they do that are simply...uh...strange! It’s ok lah, as a Malaysian’d say. Lah-ti-da, move on girlfriend. It’s no big deal.

And ladies, you how things can brew over days, weeks, and months. Thank God it hasn’t been years for my housemates and I.

After awhile, we talked a little less. Then we got too busy for each other. And when we saw each other, we didn’t talk about what really bothered us, things that polluted our hearts. Maybe we didn’t want to rock the “happy” boat we were on. So over time, we began to assume things about each other, whether good or bad. And our hearts took the toll. It became a little harder each day, colder and darker. Our home no longer was a safe haven or a place of laughter. We didn’t even laugh together anymore. We avoided each other, avoided dealing with the truth in our hearts.

I remember one day we discussed about how I write in my blog about my experiences in Indonesia and the amazing people who have made an impact in my life. Then Mida said that her name and Ria's weren’t on my blog, yet they live with me. Well...



At this point, a bit of earth science knowledge comes in handy. According to my recent Internet research, Indonesia has the most active volcanoes in the world and is part of the Pacific Ring of Fire. Thus, you often hear on the news about earthquakes and such. People may know nothing about Indonesia but that earthquakes and tsunamis happen here. Well, that’s besides the point. Anyhow, I recently went to a volcano called Tanggu Banprahu on Java Island. The hot lava in the crater just simmered and let out constant hot steam. But as you know, underneath a volcano, continental plates rub against each other,generating an extremely high level of heat. And when the heat is the most intense, a volcano explodes and the hot lava spews forth for it can no longer be kept under wraps.

Thus is the same behavior for the lava of the heart.

The eruption is the climax of my story where the lava sputters and oozes down the sides of a volcano, providing the top soil with rich nutrients forged deep in the heart of the earth. And according to the short story tradition, we are now moving on to the resolution.


We talked, shed tears, and opened up to each other. It was probably one of the most amazing moments in my life. A huge burden had been lifted. The junk in our hearts was thrown out and God filled it with love. We realized how much we needed each other. And to quote Mida, she said “We complete each other.” Their strength in evangelism is my weakness; my strength in deep emotional/character growth is their weakness. But together, we change for the better. I'm a better person because they are in my life and vice versa. We’ve also learned to love each other better. Mida’s love language is gifts, Ria is words of affirmation, and mine is quality time. Our friendships have truly been forged in the fire and have come out purer, stronger, and better in every way. Praise God that three women from different backgrounds who have hurt each other can learn to love better and more deeply the way Jesus talked about in John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” We aren’t perfect, but we try…

We've had some beautiful and crazy experiences since then, some of which are inappropriate to the children's ears, so I'll stop here.

On Becoming a Millionaire

Indonesia is where one can easily become a millionaire. At the rate I'm going, I'll reach the point of becoming a billionaire in no time. On average, I pay about 10 to 15 thousand rupiah for a cheap meal. Last time I spent 7000 rupiah for a can of coke and my friend Sally said that it's "mahal" or expensive. I was paying the "bule" rate. (Speaking of the word "bule," in every non-western country I presume, has a word for the white man. In Thai, they are called "farang," in Cambodian "marang," in Spanish, you call them "gringos" and here in Indonesia, they are "bule.")

Every time I leave the country, I have to pay a million rupiah fiscal, quite outrageously expensive. Also over here when renting an apartment or a house, people pay for a year or two in advance! (I often wonder how on earth can they save up that kind of money. Or maybe Indonesians know something about the value of savings that many of us westerners or westernized younger generations may not.) Not only that, sometimes rent can be as expensive or more than in the US, depening upon the kind of living situation you prefer. Do you want an apartment, a house, a mansion, or a castle? Take your pick. A lavish lifestyle is easily accessible by many foreigners.

However, I've adopted to live the ways of the locals by taking buses and eating local food. I figured since I already had food poisoning, by now, my stomach should be as strong as steel. I definitely don't want to miss out on the tasty Sundanese food that tastes much better if you dine with your hands. (Adding to the taste, of course, are the raw elements coming from your hands!)

On another note, I guess I could have lived high on the hog but then again, I need to save money for more traveling in the future and am still paying back that thing called "student loans!!!" It's actually not all bad living like the locals. For instance, taking a bus here is definitely a thrill that doesn't figuratively cost an arm and a leg, but it may literally do so. Still, I like it because it reminds me of riding on a roller coaster.

"I think that travel comes from some deep urge to see the world, like the urge that brings up a worm in an Irish bog to see the moon when it is full." ~Lord Dunsany

Mataku Tlah Melihat Kemuliaan

"My eyes have seen the glory of the Lord."

Never in a million years had I planned to come to Indonesia. But I'm here now and God has never stopped to amaze me. Oh, the wildness of God! Who can comprehend? I'm falling more and more in love with God, his people and this country as the days go by. I still remember the first few weeks of wanting to get out of here as soon as possible: being lost in translation, having no hot water, getting food poisoning, feeling homesick, facing the chaos at work, and missing close friendships. There were times when I just asked God to give me enough strength for the day and nothing more. Why God? Why did you allow me be here? I heard no answers. But while waiting, God has taught me to find comfort in Him and Him alone, to see things from his perspective, to trust in his great plans and that he knows what he's doing with me. My life story is being written by the hands of the living God.

My eyes have seen the glory of the Lord.

On one Sunday about two weeks after I got here, I specifically prayed that God'd bless me with a friend who was going through the same situation as me--another "fresh of the boat" foreigner, another Alicia perhaps. And watchabygollywhoa! On that very day, I met Becky Vail. Not only was she new in town, she is also a disciple from Seattle who happened to just move to Indonesia to teach! As if God knew we'd need each other, a fellow soldier in the battle, as if God had planned this all along. "He determined the times set for (us) and the exact places where (we) should live."

My eyes have seen the glory of the Lord.

The other day I was doing a slideshow presentation of my Papua New Guinea trip to my ninth grade students for a development studies class. I had never thought that I'd be sharing about God's glory from my travels to students. And the kids loved it, seeing their teacher's painted face in the native grass skirt costume. Moreover one girl is currently studying the Bible. Another girl, with a Muslim background, is trying to convince her mom to let her study the Bible. Many students have brought their friends to church. And yes, I see my students at church every Sunday. Quite strange in the beginning, but I've gotten used to it.

My eyes have seen the glory of the Lord.


I'm building deeper friendships with the brothers and sisters here, growing closer to God, learning and studying the Bible with Indonesians. Aku belajar bahasa Indonesia dan bisa menyanyi dua lagu di bahasa Indonesia. Oh Tuhan, biarlah api ini terus berkobar.


Mataku tlah melihat kemuliaan!

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."

(By the way, have I mentioned that Indonesians can really sing? The song ministry here is the best I've seen yet...)

Why Teaching?

I've worked many odd jobs in my life--washing dishes, waiting tables, representing a radio station, cleaning vacation homes, in sales, catering, working at a library, a county fair, a call center, a law office, an architectural firm, a telecommunication and a real estate company--but nothing is like teaching. For the first time in my working life, I can say that none of these jobs brought me as much joy, and possibly stress, as teaching. I maybe underpaid but I'm actually loving what I do. At one point in my life, I never thought work can be genuinely rewarding and exciting.

For us teachers, we are also known to be counselor, security guard, therapist, babysitter, disciplinarian, appointment setter, event organizer, cleaner, and mom and dad to our students. Being involved in the students' lives gives me a sense of joy because, somehow, I'm making a difference. No one day in a teacher's life is ever the same but full of a myriad surprises from your students. It's a joy. A privilege. A gift of giving. A stress. A love. It's been awhile since I think of how to better others' lives and not just my own...

This is my favorite second grader--Callum Gordon. Callum is half-Thai, half-English and came to Indonesia about a year ago and couldn't speak a lick of English then. I was designated to be his personal tutor. Callum had a reputation of walking out of his classroom if he didn't understand what was going on. When I first started tutoring him, He'd often bite me, teasingly of course, and run around when I asked him to sit down. I didn't know if I could do it because I barely had the energy left after all day of teaching and to spend it on getting him to simply sit was definitely taxing. But then I sorta figured him out. When he ran around, I'd tell him to come back after 5 or 10 minutes. And usually after he let out his excess energy, he'd come back to me. Sometimes, he'd scream and cry and call me crazy when I tried to get him to read. I didn't want him to hate me, but it was necessary to threanten him that I'd tell his parents. Thank goodness, the kid still has the fear of his parents.

Anyhow, I think he has a crush on me too, as explained by my friend Chris. Well, I think it's mutual! When he sees me around the school, he often yells out my name and because of that I've become quite popular among second graders. Now Callum is spelling out words as he sees them on the streets and has made a significant improvement in his classes. I'm so proud of him!

It Is Well...With My Soul

Yes, I am in Indonesia. But that’s far from the complete truth. I’m teaching middle/high school and didn’t know what subjects I was supposed to teach my teenage students on the first day of class in Indonesia. I felt like a lamb thrown into a pack of wolves...

On the first day, I spent four hours with a bunch of seven graders. Four hours! Green as a blade of grass, I was. Other veteran teachers didn’t seem to sweat it one bit. Give them ten hours with the same group of kids, and they’d say bring it on. I seemed to be the only one running around like a chicken with its head cut off. What the credential program taught us back in the US came back to haunt me: you’ve got to make a good impression and set the tone for the rest of the year; otherwise, watch out, they’ll run wild, run the class and, eventually, run you! What if they asked me all kinds of questions that I couldn’t answer like what are you going to teach us exactly? Or why do we have to spend four hours with you? Thank God these kids aren’t like what I’d experienced in US schools. Don’t get me wrong. I had lots of good kids in my classes back in the US and, of course, some wild ones who made me think more than twice about teaching as a career. A few teachers here would complain about kids misbehaving, and I’d gently reassure them, You ain’t see nothin’ yet until you teach in an American high school. If you can handle a classroom full of American teenagers, you can teach anywhere.

For some reasons, I was confident that there wouldn't be much of a culture shock for me in Indonesia. After having traveled to a few Asain countries, I began to get cocky with my ability to adapt to new places. That's why I love traveling because it gives me opportunities to see things in my character.

For instance, when it comes to work, I was used to the way things are run in the US. Efficiency is the name of the game. Not to say that Indonesians aren’t efficient. It’s just that their definition of “efficiency” and many other words are defined in different ways. Things like passing out wedding invitations just two weeks before the wedding. Well, I’m thinking a few months or half a year is more like it. Also when you cross a street, forget the crosswalks or hitting the button for the little-white-human light to appear at an intersection. Here, one needs to practice the art of Jakartan Street Crossing—nothing too complicated--simply close your eyes, say a prayer and cross...

It’s been over two weeks since that first day of school, and I’m still breathing. As a matter of fact, I’m beginning to enjoy teaching what I know and love like literature. There’s nothing better than getting paid to do what you love. The kids here are wonderful after all, although some teachers would say that’s a matter of opinion. I’m starting to get used to the life in Jakarta, basking in the traffic, the fumes and pollution. I once told a friend of how I miss nature. He said that after awhile you’ll get used to the traffic and will miss the traffic when you're away. I’ll see about that. But all in all, it is well…with my soul here in Indonesia.